They managed before, so why do they need an adjustment now?

It's a fair question.

From the outside, it can look like nothing has changed. Here's what it looks like from the inside.

One of my strongest traits is dogged persistence. I'm known for pushing on against impossible odds, often seeing what needs to be done before anyone else does.

That takes its toll.

Too often, it's only when I hit what I now know to be autistic burnout that I finally ask for help. Masking makes it worse. It stretches out every process, including the time it takes to realise there's nothing left in my toolbox.

Giving up isn't in my DNA. So by the time I ask, I've usually been "managing" for a very long time.

I seem intelligent, articulate, confident and socially at ease. I can see why needing an adjustment might look almost nonsensical.

For years I didn't blame anyone else for that. I blamed myself. "You're overthinking it, Chris" is something I hear a lot.

It's said with care, not malice.

But here's what seems #Obvs to me: if I could make that email shorter, or that explanation more succinct, I flippin' well would!

An Occupational Health practitioner once asked me: "Can you succinctly summarise your challenges?" "Yes," I said. "Being succinct and summarising!" 😜

If I knew the answer for every situation, I'd have fixed it already.

So what did "managing" actually cost?

Honestly, a lot.

It's like driving a Ferrari in first gear. Coping, when excelling feels just out of reach, is heartbreaking. It hurts to admit I can't always succeed unassisted.

Something has changed for me. Through a mix of fluke and design, I'm now in positions where I'm listened to.

The irony? What I'm saying hasn't changed at all. It can't be right that you have to reach a position of influence to be seen, heard, valued and understood.

Coping is not the same as being okay.

Asking for help takes courage, usually after a long time of quietly running on empty.

One thing to try: when someone who's "always managed" asks for an adjustment, don't ask why now. Ask how long they've been carrying it. Then meet them with compassion, humility and an open mind. When we do, magic happens.

I've had many advocates over the years. I'm only still fighting because of them. Now I get to do the same for others.

What will you do today to advocate for someone whose truth is being drowned out by "business as usual"?

Next Wednesday: "They're brilliant, so why can't they just cope with the meeting?"

The small print: AI helped with the structure. The stories and the bad jokes are all mine. 😜

This first appeared on LinkedIn on 14 October 2026. Join the conversation there.