If I give them that, everyone will want it.

It's rarely said to your face, but it sits behind a lot of "no"s.

I get it. Managers have a whole team to think about, and nobody wants to open the floodgates.

Over the years I've seen it come up again and again.

Someone asks to wear headphones so they can concentrate.
A parent asks to keep their phone nearby, in case their neurodivergent child needs them.
Another parent is asked to say in advance when they'll need time off. As if meltdowns came with a calendar invite.

I'll be honest about where I sit in this. I've been one of the lucky ones. I've been given a lot of flexibility, and it's made all the difference.

But that's exactly what bothered me. Too often, whether you got an adjustment seemed to depend on who you knew, how senior you were or how loudly you asked.

I don't think that comes from malice. It comes from assumption.

Here's the part nobody says. In my experience, the floodgates rarely open. Most people don't want the headphones. The ones who ask aren't after a perk. They're asking for recognition that they are struggling with a noisy and distracting environment, perhaps disproportionately to those around them. The people who push hardest, meanwhile, tend to get what they want anyway.

So a blanket "no" doesn't stop everyone wanting it. It mostly stops the quiet, conscientious people: the ones who asked nicely, took "no" for an answer and carried on struggling.

One thing to try: next time you think "everyone will want it", ask two questions. What would it really cost if they did? What is it costing this person if I say no? Sometimes there's a genuine reason, like safety, and that's fair. But "everyone will want it" isn't a reason on its own.

What's an adjustment you've seen that ended up helping everyone?

Next Wednesday: "They managed before, so why do they need an adjustment now?"

The small print: Yes, AI helped. Claude (and occasionally its LLM cousins) helps me turn my notes into structure and makes the image. The stories, the lived experience and the questionable jokes are all mine. Structure is my adjustment, and it turns out AI is rather good at it. More on that another week…

This first appeared on LinkedIn on 7 October 2026. Join the conversation there.